This is my first post for Work and Wifery. Just to provide some background, I'm 31 years old and have been married for 2 years. My dh and I don't have any kids yet, but have had enough to deal with in a short time. I don't consider us to be DINKS (doube income no kids) because we don't have any disposable income. When we were dating, my dh told me he was diabetic. What I didn't realize then was that he was diabetic without health insurance. This led to many complications over time that we are still dealing with. In addition to that, he was diagnosed with lupus a couple of years ago. I had never heard of a man with lupus until then so, much education was required on my part.
As a wife and full time employee of a fortune 500, I constantly struggle with the question of whether or not I'm doing either role justice. I know I'm not a good traditional wife. My house is often a mess. I confess that I leave dishes in the sink and clothes in the basket. It's not that I don't want a clean house, I just am usually too tired and less than motivated to clean it. So, if the traditional wife is to cook and clean and give the home a feminine touch, I don't cut it.
When we first got married, I tried so hard to keep things together. I would literally wear myself out on Saturdays especially. Of course, my dh would reward my hard work by complaining that I didn't do something right. IT DROVE ME NUTS!! Finally, I gave up and stopped caring as much. The house will get cleaned when I have the time, energy and motivation unless somebody else wants to do it. It's not that I don't care about my husband's wishes, but I realize that he can't be pleased about the house without a pound of my flesh, so I just make sure to give him other things that he wants good and often! Let me know if anyone else has had similar experiences. I'd love to hear from you!
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Girl, if not having dishes in the sink and unclean or un-put-up laundry is the sign of not being a good wife, count me in!
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how stressful these times are for you. But you know that you will get through it. And by the time you emerge on the other side of this week's/month's/year's crisis, you'll be on to something new....but you'll be stronger and wiser.
Hang in there, cuz.
(Kimberly)
I agree both work and wifery are full time positions that can be both rewarding and thankless at the same time...I often think about our role as women/wives as being traditional and like Kimberly said all that goes out of the window and you just survive as a married people. 6 years into our marriage no kids or consider us "DINKS" - first time hearing of that saying, but I learn to role with the punches and choose my battles, pray and communicate, communicate, communicate. The beauty of it all is that we are still learning each other and every day we find something new to love about each other. Enjoy your journey!
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